I haven't updated all summer long...its rather terrible. I have no excuse except that I haven't had much time to do anything other than work and live at the theatre.

On that note, come see "Do Black Patent Leather Shoes Really Reflect Up?" at Zanesville Community Theatre. Check out the website. www.zct.org

Doing ANYTHING other than writting my 10 page paper. Which is what I should be doing at this moment and am not. So that's probably why I'm doing this.

This time of night is usually when I become introspective and thoughtful, so this is fair warning that anything might come out of my keyboard tonight.

Have you ever have a surreal moment? A time when you look at your life or an event or person in your life and say to yourself, "How/When/Why did this happen?!" And it isn't as if it's a bad thing. On the contrary, it's usually life affirming somehow. In the last few weeks I have had several surreal moments.

On the school front, I have felt so completely out of control during this semester. Not out of control on the wild side of things but out of control in a center of life thing. I sometimes think Eastern spirituality influences me because I can feel when any part of my life is out of center. It affects all the other areas. That's how I've felt since January. And yet, despite that feeling, things have gone well at school. I am recieving awards from the department faculty of both of my majors. The Theatre Dept. is presenting me with the Layton Memorial Scholarship (1 of 3 the dept. presents) and the Political Science Dept. is presenting me with the John Anthony Brown Award Scholarship (1 of 2 the dept. presents). I was accepted into Omicron Delta Kappa (the Jr./Sr. Honorary limited to 3% of the student body) and I am currently ranked in the top 5% of my class.  Those awards are surreal, especially considering that I have felt so out of focus this semester. I appreciate them, but they are surreal because I don't know how I got there.

On the theatre front, the surrealness is on a different level. I am only now beginning to realize the true reality of the ripple effect. There are lasting effects of LWW that will be felt for years to come. You think I'm exaggerating? I'm not. My very best friend in the world I met in theatre. Not school, not dancing, but in theatre. She's the closest thing I have to a sister and God love her, she puts up with me as if I were her sister. I saw those relationships form during LWW. It's surreal to watch those kind of long term relationships come into being. I wish those people the same kind of relationship I have with Miss Eaves.

Moreover, I saw my position in the world turned on it's head. No longer am I just the kid at the theatre, I've transitioned, officially, into something else. I've become the people that I watched, learned from, and respected while I was learning my craft (and still am). I realized that I've become a teacher and I have a responsibility to everyone that comes through the theatre's door with a desire to learn the craft. Theatre, like everything else in life, is cyclical and attempting to FULLY understand that and my place in it is surreal. 

And now, my eyes are drooping. And my paper is still waiting. I really don't want to think about capital punishment tonight (paper topic - Happy Easter), but I'm sure people on Death Row don't want to think about it either.

For those of you who celebrate it, Happy Easter. The ultimate sacrifice for us...do we deserve it? Another surreal topic for another night.

Goodnight all, and thanks for just being you. I mean it.

P.S. Yes, I am listening to JCS on Easter. I can't help what's running through my head, even if it is the Gospel According to Judas.